Who Decided This Was Normal?

Some of what you believe isn't true.

When members of the British House of Lords opened their first session this year, they weren’t debating foreign policy, inflation, or national security. They were debating potty training. Not because it’s trivial, but because it’s becoming a real problem. A growing number of children are starting school still in diapers. In parts of the UK, about 1 in 4 four-year-olds aren’t fully toilet-trained, forcing schools to manage something that used to be resolved long before a child ever entered a classroom. Health experts are raising concerns about hygiene, development, and long-term habits. Other countries are sharing the same concern. That’s why it reached the House of Lords.

What makes this even more surprising is thinking about how different things used to be. Seventy years ago, the vast majority of children were trained by around 18 months. This wasn’t considered early or aggressive. It was simply normal.

So what changed?

It’s easy to assume this reflects better science or more informed parenting. But the shift didn’t happen in a vacuum. As disposable diapers became widespread, the economics were simple. The longer children stayed in diapers, the more product was used. Over time, messaging evolved. Parenting advice shifted. Thanks to the disposable diaper manufactures like Johnson & Johnson and Proctor and Gamble, “Wait until they’re ready” became the standard.

And something subtle happened. It stopped being seen as just a different approach. It became seen as the right and expected approach.

In fact, some experts began warning that training too early could cause emotional harm or developmental issues. The idea took hold that pushing a child before they showed readiness wasn’t just ineffective, but potentially damaging. Today, someone who trains earlier might be viewed as self-serving or even unfair to the child. That belief feels like common sense. But it’s not universal.

In many parts of the world, early training is still the norm and some parents practice what’s known as “elimination communication,” responding to an infant’s natural cues and beginning toilet habits extremely early. In some cases, children are largely out of diapers within the first year. In some cases 3 months. Same human biology. Completely different “normal.”

That’s what makes this different from most trends. This isn’t about preferences. It’s about core beliefs, the kind we rarely stop to question.

You see the same pattern in other areas. The food pyramid shaped how generations understood health. It told people what to eat, what to avoid, and what was considered “good.” And yet, much of that guidance has since been reexamined.

Today, you’re seeing new voices trying to challenge long-held assumptions in health and nutrition. People like Robert F. Kennedy Jr. are questioning mainstream thinking. He may be right on some things and wrong on others, but that’s not the point. The point is that questioning is happening. Because truth doesn’t come from never being challenged. It comes from being challenged and holding up.

Go back further, and you’ll find doctors promoting cigarettes as beneficial. At the time, it felt credible. It felt backed by authority. Now it feels unthinkable.

And today, the process moves even faster. We don’t just absorb ideas from institutions. We absorb them from feeds. Influencers, podcasts, and YouTube experts in every field imaginable shape how we think. An idea repeated enough starts to feel true. An idea seen everywhere starts to feel obvious. And once it feels obvious, we stop questioning it.

That’s what makes this personal.

If something as basic as when a child stops wearing diapers can be reshaped, and something as fundamental as what we eat or put in our bodies can be flipped, what are you holding onto right now not because you’ve examined it, but because it’s what you’ve been told again and again?

This isn’t about becoming cynical. It’s about understanding where growth actually happens. At the intersection of questioning and truth.

Try this today: Take one belief you hold strongly, especially in an area like health, parenting, or how things are done at work. Then do something most people avoid. Look for the strongest argument against it. Not to abandon your belief, but to test it. Because the way something has “always been done” is often where blind spots live.

Summary: Core beliefs often feel like truth, but many are shaped over time by incentives and repetition. Real growth happens when we’re willing to question them and see what still holds up.